This week I opened the Cardiff fanzine Thin Blue Line issue 67 from 2008 which covers a story I though must have been a spoof about Hamburg SV opening a cemetery for fans, a cemetery shaped like the ground with space for 500 fans.

A quick search online reveals this was a very serious plan that was implemented. This BBC article about its opening concludes with a rather mystifying line “Some fans have already reserved their place for when they pass away, but Reichert said he wants to keep some back for Hamburg’s more elderly fans who have expressed an interest.”[1]

..I mean surely, they should just have made it first come first served?

So yes, yes, features like match reviews, away travel guides, memorable matches, player rankings, cheating referees, how awful Thatcher was, the ID scheme, reviews of Wedding Present gigs etc, are all great stuff but there was much, much more in fanzines and this week’s blog will celebrate a tiny sample of those.

Let’s Start at the Beginning

Before we get to the more obscure stuff, we can’t ignore the editorial. Almost all fanzines had an editorial, invariably maudlin affairs after the latest string of defeats or triumphal after a victory over local rivals or (in a very small % of cases) a trophy win. Most though, were somewhere in the middle, the dull trudge towards the end of another mid table finish.

However, when an editorial in November contains this quote (I assume from the soon to be sacked Stewart Houston) you probably know the season is already over. The full editorial is a master class on how to write an editorial dripping with ennui, from the always great QPR fanzine A Kick Up The Rs, (Still available via twitter @akutrs) issue 94…in NOVEMBER 1997. They weren’t wrong, Rangers were to finish 21^st that season, one point above a very much pre oil money Manchester City who were relegated to the 2^nd (3^rd) division.

@TheSkyStrikers on twitter has just posted a Flickr of the entire fanzine, well worth a look for this alone, never mind his exceptional work documenting Shoot! Player profiles on Flickr and in excel.

Very graphic design

We don’t cover standard fare here though so first let me present my (current) 3 favourite editorial headers.

In 3^rd place is the header from issue 22 of besotted(sic), a Brentford fanzine from 1993. We all love a pun don’t we? “Edlines” is a belter created with the very best in graphic design that you could find in 1993.

In 2^nd place it is from Manchester City’s Electric Blue with their simple, handwritten (?) logo this one from issue 5 in 1990.

1st place though, has to go to the tremendous Life Support Machine fanzine in the name of Caley FC who had an editorial feature with a difference, it was called the Idiotorial. Lovely stuff.

Biscuit based

Garibaldi was a short-lived Nottingham Forest fanzine from 1992-3 with only 4 issues ever published BUT issue 1 had a naughty little feature called Readers Shelves. “Outdoor shelving”, “Provocative planking” and “ultimate shelving fantasy” all feature plus there is promise of a “Shelfcard” membership scheme and a useful clarification that you don’t have to be married to contribute. I can’t think where they got the idea for this from.

Cold Storage, or Boundary Park as it’s more commonly known

Back to the theme of imminent death that inspired this blog. In 1993, issue 25 of Beyond The Boundary, a brilliant Oldham fanzine carried “Inside Sully’s fridge”.

They nicked the idea (this is a fanzine, OK) from a piece in Match magazine about the contents of flying winger Neil Adams’ fridge, miraculously also powered by electricity. Taking this one obvious step further they decided what was in a fan’s fridge would be an upgrade on the idea and boy were they right.

I desperately need to source a copy of issue 26 to read about Meat Pie Fred’s Dog Kennel

Playa Profiles

Many fanzines had a fan feature in the zine whereby they interviewed a top fan (a mate from the pub) about his passion for the club. They contained some classic replies to the usual sort of questions, a Fan version of player profiles in Shoot!

Have I mentioned that I have copies of a fanzine from The Minstrel Wanderers FC, Birmingham Coronation Sunday League division 3 side? Well, I’m sure you know all about them but here is a quick summary of the club from issue 2 just in case.

The player profile for one of the midfield/defence/striking (Depending on who turned up) lynchpins Peter Hannon is the sort of quality you just didn’t get in shoot!

Collectors Item?

Brian Moore’s Head Looks Uncannily Like The London Palladium (BMH) was of course a brilliant fanzine with superb features.

1993 Gillingham had been having a torrid time away from home so the special commemorative back cover of Issue 35 records all the 26 league away games that the Gills had gone without recording a victory. I can happily report that the club record was broken with them scraping a 1-1 draw away at Wycombe on the 4^th September. Nicky Forster scored for the Gills in front of 6,226.

Hopes were briefly raised, the voodoo broken and record streak counter stopped at 27 with a 2-1 win away at Carlisle (Forster got a brace this time) on 2^nd October. Never fear though, normal service was resumed and the next 7 away games saw the dreadful run continue with 6 defeats, 1 draw and only 5 goals scored. The answer to the question was 1994.

Great Sendings Off

Now this sounds like a great feature, right? And it is, it really is, it’s just that it is about a sending off in a Silk cut Rugby League Challenge Cup match between Sheffield and Featherstone Rovers that appeared in the fanzine of non-League Stourbridge, Glass Routes Issue 8 from 1991.

Our heroes admit they are running short of ideas; I mean 8 issues is a long time in fanzine years but have a read for yourself, it’s a peach of a feature and the article is brilliant. The build up, the crowd reaction, the fact that each and every player was involved are all superb…even if it is Rugby League in Sheffield, 117 miles away from Stourbridge.

Great features we’d LIKE to see

I’m just grateful that there was a fanzine by a QPR fan called The Whinging Donkey which ran for a maximum of 3 issues, no one is sure.  Apparently, it’s whole purpose was to slag off Tony Adams and Arsenal. In style it reflected its author and had a very punk ethic but unfortunately nothing remains of the fanzine as I’d love to see its reported cartoon rendering of the Arsenal team parachuted into the world of the ‘The Prisoner’[2].

Final Whistle

A feature is defined in the dictionary as “a distinctive attribute or aspect of something” You can say that again. Fanzines contained all sorts of distinctive attributes, right down to the name of the ubiquitous editorial.

Further afield once again I find myself marvelling at the creativity, cussedness and pure joie de vivre that appears in fanzines across the board. Veering wildly from celebrating a winless streak to calling the season in November, from player profiles to Rugby league brawls, from fridges to shelves, it’s all there and this is just a tiny selection and a blog topic I suspect we will come back to again and again and again.

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[1] http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7608181.stm#:~:text=Hamburg%20have%20become%20the%20first,its%20proximity%20with%20the%20stadium.

[2] https://theafterword.co.uk/when-saturday-comes-and-football-fanzines/