I’ve been driving up and down motorways recently, something that is wearing to say the least. On my travels I thought about the many articles in fanzines about the “joy” of travel as a football supporter. So, this week we’ll take a trip (nice- Ed) around some fanzines and dig out stories that aren’t just “went to the match, got pissed”

Simple but effective

It might be something simple, Peterborough fanzine The Peterborough Effect celebrated avoiding relegation from the bottom tier in April 1989 with a cover showing cancelled travel plans to the likes of Runcorn and Stafford. I also like the scale showing potential route up the leagues. Creativity, relief and optimism, a heady mix.

Rough Guide

Travel guides before fancy graphics and editing software were often “Heath Robinson” but none the worse for that.

Sometimes fans couldn’t even be bothered with fancy “graphics”, take this beauty from the 1989 Scarborough Warning fanzine for example. Simple but effective, though mystifyingly the directions to Torquay don’t start in Scarborough but from 9 miles south in Staxton. Anyway, Mad Dog includes pie reviews and this would be easier to carry on the car seat next to you than an A-Z. Who needs Sat Nav?!

Awayitis from Doncaster’s Raise the Roof issue 2 in 1989 is a classic of the genre though and does include lovely hand drawn pictures of grounds, famous past players, programme AND club shop reviews and much much more though they do seem to have avoided catering on past visits. Brilliant.

On Tour

Spoof humour or sports cross overs were never far away. Also in Raise The Roof 2 is a report that two former players “Midfield Dynamo” Chris Balderstone and Ted Hemmings might be going on tour, possibly called up to England’s forthcoming test tour to the West Indies with the rebel tour of South Africa having shorn Ted Dexter and the selectors of his stars.

Balderstone did play 2 tests for England against the West Indies and in 1976 played in the top tier of football for Carlisle, his penalty against Pat Jennings and Tottenham Hotspur had Carlisle briefly topping England’s Football League after the first 3 games of the 1974–75 season. Hemsley had been briefly mentioned as a possible for England…in 1964.

A reminder of the times players could play both sports, Compton, Goram, Close, Hammond, Sidebottom, Botham and Drake perhaps the most notable amongst many. Leeds’ Gerry Francis and Albert Johanneson turning out for the Garforth council of Churches a lesser-known appearance but it happened on the 1961 August bank holiday according to the Yorkshire Evening Post.

Leeds’ Hanging Sheep along with many others asked fanzine buyers to report issues in obscure places. Issue 11 contains a report of a “Lanky bastard” from Sweden with a copy in Prague ..plus a sighting in Red Square around the time of the attempted coup of 1991 in Russia…Few fanzines lead a more spectacular protest.

Flashy Travel

We’ve all “been” there, a seemingly endless succession of away days without so much as the sniff of a win, no joy and hard miles.

Few though will be able to beat Geoff’s incredible tale of woe recounted in issue 5 of Sheffield United fanzine Flashing Blade. In 1989 our hero Geoff recounts THIRTEEN YEARS of travels without a victory. It’s also a great little piece outlining long forgotten matches and including a list he had bitterly compiled to document his travails.

Geoff has understandably been beaten down by the years, our correspondent now considers the 70’s in Division 2 under John Harris as being “glamour years”.

Harris’ first stint as United manager had ended after years of mid-table finishes but in his 2nd spell he signed players such as Tony currie, Geoff Salmons, Eddie Colquhoun, Trevor Hockey and Bill Dearden as United went top of the 1st division early in the 1971-72 season…before finishing mid table.

They did qualify for the Watney Cup that season though, a pre-season tournament contested by the teams that had scored the most goals in each of the four divisions, United would lose 7-6 on penalties to 3rd division Bristol Rovers in the final)

There were memorable games, beating ManYoo on Bobby Charlton’s last run out must have been fun and the juxtaposition of beating Arsenal in the cup with games vs Wigan and Bradford is lovely. Our Geoff is persistent though and offers a warning that he will be attending some games this season…

I can’t leave you hanging on, in Issue 12 from May 1990 it is revealed that GEOFF’s JINX IS OVER though not without further misery and another year passing but still, anyone would take a 2-0 away at Boundary Park ( 28^th March 1990).

Hell, there have been many times I’ve been there when even the “meat” pie was no consolation.

Cuddly Toy

Ipswich Town’s Those Were The Days ran a compilation special called Townsfolk. When I say compilation, the editorial states that there were only ever 2 issues of TWTD so this compilation is basically both those issues rolled into one! The next traveller’s tale puts it between 1986 and 1988 for reasons that will become clear. But I have issues 4,17, 25 and 38 of the zine in front of me…fanzines and numbering eh.

I’m still scratching my head as to whether this is a spoof or not, but it tells the tale of a Tractor Boy hitching it to Portman Road and being picked up by a white rover driven by non-other than striker John Deehan. He played for Ipswich between the summer of 1986 and 1988 and scored 11 in 49 for them so that’s when the action happened with this zine published around 1990.

Tales of manager Bobby Ferguson’s disciplinary rules are less than hair raising, Deehan clearly likes the gee gees, the white Rover reeks of Alan Partridge, his willingness to snitch on teammates is something press training would have beaten out of him nowadays and admiration for Ron Atkinson is also very passe today for good reason. What really sets this story apart though is that John Deehan also gave our correspondent a lift home after the match! Apologies for the print quality came in the editorial and despite some heavy editing I have to repeat that here..ah the 80s

Push it, Push it Real Good

Ray Kennedy had an illustrious career at Liverpool, five league titles, three European Cup wins, the Uefa and Uefa Super cup and the League cup plus wining the Charity Shield four times when it meant something. You can read more about his background and later struggles in an excellent blog by Mike Amos[1].

As alluded to in that blog, salaries for even the top stars like Ray were not in the stratosphere as they are today and the sight of a star like Kennedy winding down his days in the lower divisions was as welcome as it was common. I remember vividly and happily a Chesterfield fan running up and down the Compton side at Saltergate at all times level with Mick Lyons, now of Grimsby, shouting “You’re rubbish Lyons, always were, always will be” Lyons to his credit only looked over once and just laughed when he did.

However, Swansea were still in the top division at the time Ray arrived there for £160,000  but injury and relegation during Kennedy’s time and John Toshack’s sacking saw Kennedy depart and trundle around Hartlepol, Pezoporikos and Ashington.

By the time Kennedy was at Swansea he seemed to be struggling for form as this article from Jackmail issue 14 from 1990 infers, it would later become clear that his Parkinson’s was already presenting itself. Our correspondents weren’t to know that however as events in a hotel bar in Magdeburg prove. Having made an incredible trip behind the Iron Curtain when that sort of thing was far from simple or safe they perhaps had a right to feel somewhat aggrieved when Ray showed a certain indifference to the Jacks losing 2-1 on aggregate to the Ossis with our travelling heroes thus missing out on a trip to the Nou Camp. “Pushing and shoving” ensued despite free tickets. Security would be involved nowadays if you could even get into the hotel of a top tier side on a European interlude.  

Final Whistle Stop Tour

Football travels means pies, tales of the unexpected and misery interspersed with occasional joy.

As ever, this week’s sprint through some fanzines has lead us to places we didn’t expect, didn’t want to or even knew we needed to go, confrontation behind the Iron Curtain, jinxes and a healthy dose of creativity, ennui and memories of the way we were.

Classic fanzines, lovely stuff. 

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[1] https://mikeamosblog.wordpress.com/2021/12/01/november-30-2021-ray-kennedy-remembered/