As I was creating the first comprehensive list of football fanzines that existed to support the Voice of the Fan exhibition, memories came flooding back of the sometimes-surreal nature of fanzine culture, names and the humour. Then, in a surreal twist as I was starting this blog the news came of the passing of the genius David Lynch. The beauty of what he did was always leaving you with the feeling that you were in a familiar yet strangely offset world. There is a significant corner of fanzines that did the same thing, so here’s a little peak behind that curtain.

Still thankfully online

Football fanzines often embraced the surreal in a way that most magazine or TV executives would have rejected, not David Lynch or the people behind Saint & Greavsie though.

Lincoln City boss Colin Murphy was ‘old style’ and famous for his strange columns in the club programme, Murph’s Message. “To extemporise or not to extemporise – that is the issue we face today.” being just one example. Taking his art to the next level an incredible interview appeared on Saint and Greavsie lead to the naming of the most celebrated Lincoln fanzine, “Deranged Ferret”.

Asked if his team talks were strange, Colin replied “I’m convinced that over the years the only thing that matters is it’s what they do between 3 o’clock and 20 to 5. You really can do what you like with them during the week and you really can say what you like to them during the team talk. Now if that makes ‘em run around like deranged ferrets for an hour and a half you’ve done the job aint ya because they win” If you love surreal comedy and want a taste of what used to pass for television content in the 80s you can watch the whole interview here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QTaR69FteI Watch closely for what might easily have given Steve Coogan the idea for Alan Partridge and a Dictaphone.

Our Tokyo Correspondent

Football fanzines were all about professional or non-league clubs, right? The majority were, but we found a couple of Sunday League teams with fanzines and a short lived, 2 issue fanzine called “The Magic Spray” for a junior team, Harborough JFC. This was written by a Leicester fan now living in Tokyo with some mates. Some search or other brought me in touch with @tokyofox (check his great blogs out at https://tokyofox.net/ ) and it transpired that on an all too rare trip home to his parent’s house he had come across probably the ONLY copy left of this august journal. An email exchange ensued and well, here it is, the fanzine from the lowliest part of the football world we found.

Still in Print!

Printed media was another great source for the list so if you’re feeling flush a compilation of “The Escaped Horse” is a great book still available on Amazon. Not to be missed, who needs the the glitz of professional football, “The Escaped Horse” covered the “fortunes” of Thornton-le-Dale Football Club as they plunged the depths of the Scarborough and District League Division Three.

There are some great match reports and a club alphabet including “I is for Ipswich, because we couldn’t think of an I related to the village” Its editors ignored “regular verbal abuse and threats of physical violence” to produce “an enduring, warts-and-all expose of life at the arse-end of football.” A very evocative fanzine that will remind everyone of their own ham-fisted attempts on a Sunday morning.

Out There

Humour and baiting neighbours (banter as it’s now known) were never far away, surreal humour never far behind that. Consider the majestic effort from the people behind Bradford City’s “City Gent”. In 1987 they published a 32-page fanzine called “Glory, Glory Leeds United” It comprised 32 blank pages or “everything you ever wanted to read about Leeds,” a “publication” that made it into the national media. The editor at the time is quoted as saying “Words were simply incapable of expressing the feelings. My only regret was that it wasn’t produced as a toilet roll.”

Believe it or not even librarians were getting in on the act! A shadowy group called LAFF (Librarians as football fans) set up a fanzine in 1992 called “Game for a LAFF”, What else did you expect from librarians but a pun in the name. Copies are available at the National Library of Scotland (NLS) and include written apologies about spelling including further spelling mistakes and a review of a book review, a rant about the lack of the use of ISBN in When Saturday Comes. High octane stuff. (Unfortunately, the editor is not THAT Chris Mason)

Small But Perfectly Formed

Meadowbank Thistle had several tremendous fanzines if you’re ever lucky enough to come across them. “Mr Bismark’s Electric Pickelhaube” an Edinburgh based publication available in the NLS. The surreal vibe is well served by the fact that every edition was a different price, 10p, 35p, 25p or 40p and it was named because it “Sounded German” and the 1st cover had a comic U boat commander saying “Agh, the team is sinking faster than the Bismarck did” We’ll come back to the Thistle in a blog about music and fanzines later on.

Stockport FC’s best-known fanzine The Tea Party somehow managed to get pictures of celebrities reading their fanzine. Amongst others here are Richard E Grant and Jeremy Beadle. 

How about Nine Nil, a Brighton fanzine only published for away games and only in the 1990-1991 season. At 20p it (potentially) was a bargain.

Full time

Fanzines had all sorts of versions, all sorts of formats but the surreal was never far away. People went into print for all sorts of reasons and using all forms of expression but one of the most recurring themes was trying to find the funny side of things. I hope this small cross section makes you search out more, They really are out there in more ways than one.