It was Bill Gates who coined this phrase in a 1996 essay which predicted that “high-quality, engaging material” would be where the real money is made on the internet. It’s clear in these days of emergency podcasts, click and rage bait and the absolute garbage put out on most digital channels that he has been proved wrong but there was a better time when print was still king.
As revealed last week fanzines quickly ballooned in size with average number of pages starting in 1980 at 15.6 pages, moving to 28.9 by 1990 and over the decades being 33.6 pages. This meant more content and that meant a wider range of views and subjects, so far so good but it also meant a lot of space filling and the possibility of ever more comedic mistakes. So let’s take a look at some more great and not so great things that happened in fanzines over the years.
So let’s go back to the days when people at least tried to generate some decent content, even if some of those attempts were half hearted and very sarcastic, sometime barking mad but always creative and still beat 90% of the digital slop out there today.
Content and covers
Take this cover from issue 74 of Newcastle’s The Mag from January 1995 for example, this fan certainly seems happy with the attractiveness of the kit provided by Asics. Adidas were to be the kit supplier for the 1995/96 season on but it’s doubtful if even their legendary away shirt with claret and blue hoops and white polo collar could attract as much attention as this green away number. There is no mention anywhere in issue 74 of who this photo is of, where it was taken or its provenance which just makes it better. There is a clue from the bin in the background so I’m going with Whitley Bay which, again, would make it even more amazing.
The Mag was a great fanzine, rammed full of great articles, news and views about the club all done with passion and a sense of fun. One of the things I really like about it is the letters section, full of great arguments, dodgy stats, pet peeves and other miscelania. Fans really did play a full part. The Mag is one of a few print zines that successfully moved on line and if you are really into Newcastle can still be found here https://www.themag.co.uk/
As stated, more pages meant more possible mistakes. Brentford fanzine Beesotted issue 18 was published in December 1992. You can only assume that the Christmas party was well underway at the printer or the offices of the fanzine but anyway, the result was an almighty mess. This lead to a red sticker having to be inserted in every copy of the zine with an explanation and apology. Not the first or the last time to happen I’d guess but a great example of more haste less speed or something.
Celtic’s Not The View ran a great feature called ‘Great Celtic Haircuts Of Our Time’ for many issues. The one in issue 34 involving club great Bert Thompson will live long in my memory and I look forward to Yamal or Harry Kane modelling this some time soon to kick start a revival. The description is fabulous, suggesting Bert had reached for his inner Native American and found Joe Strummer as well.
Now, with fanzines there is almost always a story within a story so I decided to look up Bert and it’s a tragic case of what might have been. Described “a brilliantly talented but tragically ill-disciplined right winger”1 he won over a large section of Celtic supporters by being sent off against Rangers in a Glasgow Cup final and scoring twice in the 1931 Scottish cup final as they beat Motherwell 4-2. Things would never be so good, Bert fell out with Mr Malley and the club, was injured and succumbed to alcohol and “other blandishments” when out injured. He left Celtic and had flashes of success elsewhere before dying at his mother’s house aged just 30, apparently due to heart issues and jaundice. Here is another great photo of Bertie with a spectacular haircut, courtesy of the inestimable Celtic Wiki (https://www.thecelticwiki.com/)
Love and hate
I can’t remember where this clipping came from but its great, so here it is. Whoever published it, thank you for this superb content and I promise to improve my filing system. Gordon will appear in a fat git XI feature when I find another 10 players of similar girth.
I’ve written about my hatred of VAR before ( https://footballfanzineculture.blog/2025/04/30/bring-me-the-head-of-david-elleray/) and the recent World Cup did nothing to dissipate my hatred, why the hell do we need such nonsense? Fanzines settled such trivial matters easily with a grainy, awful pictures. Admittedly this was weeks later and with the wrong player being credited with a goal but this photo from the classic Lancaster City tome The Mad Axemen issue 19 in 1994 settles any doubt as to who what where when happened and the need for VAR. End of. (End of except I don’t know why or indeed if the goalkeeper didn’t, or perhaps did have a number on his back)
A Visual Reminder
I’ve been collecting the many and varied aerial photos of grounds that were advertised for sale up and down the country in fanzines. I suspect fanzine greatly received a boost to their funding with the insertion of this ad but did many people really buy them? The quality was invariably terrible although probably far better than portrayed in fanzines who could be let’s just say ‘patchy’ with their reproductions. I have no clue what I’m going to do with these (lost grounds blog?, terrible aerial photo blog?) so here’s a couple for you to enjoy.
As you can see, some fanzines went one further…Bristol Rovers Wot No Quarters issue 1 arrived in September 1996. They had previously been The Trumpton Times but changed their name in protest when for the 96-97 season Rovers wore an unpopular striped quartered design, which fans called the Tesco bag shirt. Judge for yourself about the similarity to the design used for the company’s classic carrier bags.
Anyway, WNQ promised you a copy of one of these dreadful photos but they didn’t bother to include it. Good prize for the first 5 people to send a joke, a poem or an article though, even if I suspect no prize would have been forthcoming unless you paid your £3.75 (unframed).
Satire
I saw in the “news” the other day that Count Binface (please elect him Clacton, PLEASE) is calling for Sega to bring back their Trocadero arcade, a great policy. SE-GA..who can forget that bloody sing song rendition of the name of the preeminent Japanese gaming company of the time. How the hell they made so much moolah out of a blue hedgehog I’ll never know but they did. Anyway, St Johnstone classic Wendy Who ran this absolutely superb piss take in XXXX. I’ve seen it repeated in quite a few fanzines but Wendy Who are so far the originator but I’d be happy to be corrected.
We’ll do a Lookalikes feature some other time but how about a “Who is Britains Top Bob article? This feature from the supreme Flashing Blade issue 12 in 1990 unsurprisingly made Bob Booker the best British Bob. Look him up, he really was a brilliant character. After 10 years at Brentford a cruciate ligament injury looked like ending his career and Brentford offered him a free transfer and testimonial in recognition of his service. However “Fred” Basset offered him a new lease of life at Bramhall Lane and boy did he take the chance. Blades fans loved him for his endless energy and his association with the club’s rise through the division. But it was more than that. To give you an example the story goes that on one occasion a ten-year-old fan wrote to the club asking if Booker could come to dinner at his house. He duly obliged, staying for two hours. This is why there was a Bob Brooker Appreciation Society, South Sea Branch and though he did enjoy a bit of an advantage in this contest in the goal scoring category a win is a win.
and finally…consistently proving fanzines have still got it after 39 years is Manchester United’s Red News. They went retro recently in issue 346 from April of this year with a stunning idea of providing fans with a league ladder despite not having any rights for the use of badges, names or designs.
I think you’ll all agree that their cut out and keep alternate team names and descriptions are very, very funny. Well, maybe not all of you, I know there was some pushback on this with fans being upset about how their club was portrayed. My view on that? If you open a fanzine and don’t expect to occasionally see something like this then you haven’t been paying attention for the past 50 years. Well done Barney! You can subscribe to Red News here https://crowdfundr.com/rednews2026?ref=ab_5nINdoBrU5H5nINdoBrU5H
The Final Whistle
Pages to fill, deadlines to meet. Content. Not the fly away quick quip that podcasts rely on, proper, thought out, ‘researched’ and written content. Fanzines had and still have it all. Admittedly, due to the self published nature of things there were some catastrophic failures but this is all part of the rich tapestry of creativity. Long may it continue.
KEEP PRINT ALIVE!
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